Description:
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I know there are plenty of bug reports about this, but I want to be sure this gets the renewed attention it deserves.

I've read some very stupid arguments against function autoloading, namely "just use OOP" "just use static methods" which are actual solutions, but hacks compared to what functional programming should look like. Or worse "you usually have one class per file, nobody wants one function per file" which is also stupid since one could do:

function autoloadFunction($namespacedFunctionName){
    $pos = strrpos($namespacedFunctionName, '\\');
    $nsName = substr($namespacedFunctionName, 0, $pos); // strips the function name
    $file = $nsName . DIRECTORY_SEPARATOR . 'functions.php'; // contains all the functions in the NS
    require($file);
}

... and would work perfectly fine. Not to mention that with opcache nobody worries of loading files performance as they are cached.

Can we have this, please? I was expecting this to be possible in 7.0 but apparently it's not going to happen even in 7.1: why?

Thank you