Decoded version (really nice bug :)):

Would it be possible to add a support for autoloading user-defined functions? Currently only classes are supported by either __autoload or spl_autoload or spl_autoload_register.

Including all functions is really awful job whereas classess could be autoloaded nicely (imagine implementation for spl_autoload_register which scans a directory for classess and then includes specific file).

I suggest to make possible something similar to the example above for normal functions (global as well as those in namespaces).

PS: I know that it could be hacked by emulating namespace with class (eg. static method String::webalize()) but since PHP 5.3 it would be probably nicier not to hack it with classes, but place it to namespace as a regular function (String\webalize()).

With classes you often have one class per file, with functions not which makes the lookup usually way more complex; I don't see us adding this.

It doesn't make any difference to me. I'm using tokenizer to look up for classes in all files. Then I store them in an associative array (class=>file) and when the class is requested, it is loaded according to this list.
With functions it'd be completely same. I don't think PHP should provide anything more, just an autoloader to be used with user-defined callback (like spl_autoload_register does).

"With classes you often have one class per file…"
Often, but not always.

This feature clearly requires the RFC process.  Either the
existing RFC “Function Autoloading”[1] may be revived, or a new
RFC should be submitted[2].  I'm suspending this ticket for the
time being.

[1] <https://wiki.php.net/rfc/function_autoloading>
[2] <https://wiki.php.net/rfc/howto>