Description:
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Yeah, I would firstly like to mention how absolutely pissed off at PHP I am. Your program must be the absolute worst programmed piece of software in all of the net. You compete with Bill Gates in that regard.

Now that I have that off my chest, let me explain why your program sucks. I have spent over 12 hours researching, reinstalling, etc etc etc etc etc etc ETCETERA... All trying to get mysql into php. It won't load the goddamn dll. Nothing in Event Log. Nothing anywhere, regardless of errors=E_ALL, or "REPORT_STARTUP_ERRORS". I have fucking done it all.

ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO INTEGRATE PHP WITH MYSQL. THIS IS BECAUSE YOUR PROGRAM SUCKS, AND YOU SHOULD ADD SOME GODDAMN ERROR REPORTING SO WE CAN AT LEAST FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK ____YOUR___ PROGRAM IS DOING WRONG.
FIX YOUR SHIT. just fucking fix it.

Thanks. And fuck you sincerely, for making my life, and everyone else's life, an utter atrocity. I'm going to Cold Fusion 8; Fuck you.

Expected result:
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Nothing. Your blasted PHP program doesn't even report error messages like it should.

Actual result:
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Yay! PHP Works. Oh wait... no it doesn't. It isn't loading .dll's, and it isn't reporting why not - maybe this is because PHP sucks? yup, i think so.