Description:
------------
I'm trying to use output buffering in CLI to log output as it's echoed. But ob_implicit_flush is a bunch of feral cock. Look at this bullpoop:

Test script:
---------------
ob_start(function ($s) {
	return "[" . strlen($s) . "]";
});
ob_implicit_flush(true);
for (;;) echo '.';

Expected result:
----------------
[1][1][1][1][1][1][1][1]... ad infinitum

Actual result:
--------------
Nothing is ever displayed.

Memory usage goes up and up until the script crashes. PHP would be quite happy apparently to consume additional universes if it could get more memory out of it to fill with "."'s.

The documentation says "Implicit flushing will result in a flush operation after every output call". Well maybe it does do that, I don't know, but whatever it's doing it doesn't generate the result implied by the documentation. It's a God-damn lie in spirit. I feel betrayed.

Try to specify 1 as the buffer size to ob_start as a workaround. Just TRY IT, and watch the sheer audacity of the thing as it calmly prints out [4096][4096][4096][4096][4096][4096].... Because apparently some herp-derp let's-just-add-random-quirks-for-laughs moron at PHP bollocksing years ago decided 1 = 4 kB. That's a nice idea isn't it. That's real fucking neato.

The best I can get apparently is to specify a buffer size of 2 to ob_start, which will cause [2][2][2][2][2][2][2][2][2][2]....

But that's no fucking good because individual characters won't echo until another one happens to come along. THIS IS A PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE NOT THE BUS STOP.

If you can't make ob_implicit_flush do what it blatantly claims it will do could you at least make -1 to ob_start a synonym for a real 1 so this can be made to work. Thanks very much. Meanwhile I'll just go and drown myself in a see of hideous synonym functions ("echo2($boop);", "var_dump2($blah);"). Don't worry about me, I completely enjoy that.