Description:
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The following clause, while cute, should be removed: "and nobody serious would be doing genetic analysis with PHP"

Sadly, many serious people use the obtusificated (spelling?) languate Perl for many tasks such as this, however, in many ways I find PHP is better than Perl (even for string handling) in the way it operates, programs can be written faster, and sometimes run faster, are easier to read and modify. OOP in PHP is much nicer as well. I have done this professionally for a while, using both Perl and PHP for the tasks I had to do, and PHP was definetly the easier option for making said programs, even without using OOP (which seemed to slow it down).

Reproduce code:
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Expected result:
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Actual result:
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